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I Hate Spiders

(A true story apart from the shoe ending I’m not that horrible)

The other day I was sat in my favourite armchair watching a spider walk down the living-room wall. It wasn’t a big spider so I wasn’t scared, well not really scared like I normally am. Anyway, it got me to thinking that this spider was living with me for free. He or she wasn’t paying any rent or giving me anything towards the gas and electric bills and he or she certainly wasn’t giving me anything towards the food bill. So what was I to do? I can’t throw him or her out because that would make me look hard and cruel and not very charitable. I know I’ll do what I always do. Now, where is my shoe?